#InMyStudio... getting my head straight when a painting kicks you in the butt

I have been avoiding my studio a little this past while - I've been a little frustrated with where I'm at.  What is stumping me is how to apply the wonderful lessons I've been learning in class to be wholly part of me.  Where it's coming from the inside of me, out as opposed to walking through tutorials and doing pieces verbatim.  How do I climb out of the safe lines and get out of the box, I often place myself in.  To keep pushing myself to deeper places and keep pushing myself to grow.  At times I still feel like my art portrays that good little girl always abiding.  I'm desperate to have enough time to find myself get lost in the creative and see what comes out.

I don't want this to be a life long struggle for me... 

 So this is where I left off yesterday - I am feeling much better about this piece.

I'm not sure why exactly this piece was such a struggle - but my lines were off, I struggled for creative ideas.  Where I started was so disappointing - I was feeling hopeless of ever finding my way.  This piece has given me a hard time and I'm not sure it's finished yet.

If nothing else this piece has made me question a few things.  To look deeper inside myself and its definitely challenging me to push back against myself.  To challenge my fears and face them, head on.  And I guess that's never a bad thing.  Let the journey continue - no matter how uncomfortable!

#InMyStudio - trying to dig a little deeper

Do you ever just feel like you are not growing, even though you probably are - but it doesn't stop how you are feeling about your abilities.  That's how I've been feeling.  When I look back over May, I made a conscience effort to be available and present #InMyStudio and now looking back, I realized I actually did quite a lot of art and a variety of different things too... from drawing, hand stitching, sculpture and painting!  So why am I feeling so frustrated.  I guess I just want to dig deeper with the quality of my work - but I also know that will really only come with hours in front of my easel.  Allowing myself enough hours to get to the good stuff.  To be, to creatively play, write and practice, practice, practice.

So here's some of what I've been doing...

 I've been thinking about this piece, all day - I originally didn't want to focus too much on the image because the assignment was actually about the background. But today I realize I was ready to build on the faces.

I'm absolutely in love with this transformation!

Because I had been thinking about this all day, when I got home, I was just so ready to paint it!  I love how the angle of the girl on the right's head changed completely.  Not sure if you remember, I called this piece EternalSisters because it's what my daughters call each other and it's just so lovely!  This piece is going to be part of an auction to raise funds for beautiful Lorraine!

I'm so nervous and excited about this!

Sown with Love... for Beautiful Lorraine

Beautiful Lorraine - Pic from Lorraine's blog.

I was invited to participate in a small group called "Sown with Love".

It was a group that came together to sew a patch or two of quilting for our dear sweet friend, Lorraine.  As a gift of love for her.  She's just found our her cancer has returned after 3 years!  I know we are all reeling and totally devastated by this news.  It has currently been consuming my thoughts, my heart and prayers.  I'm totally heart broken at how unfair life can be.  Seeing this incredible online artist community rally around her and support her, love her and walk along side her, has been truly remarkable to watch.

And I know this is a great source of comfort for her and I have to say for me too - I'm so far away and there isn't much I can do from here but knowing she's so supported helps!

I had the honor of meeting this beautiful lady in Italy in 2012 and we have stayed connected online.  I wish I could say I had more.  But I'm counting down the days till I see her again... (120 days to be exact).   Occasionally you come across beautiful people who touch something deep inside of you!  Well that's how I felt about Lorraine, Ted and Maddy, when I met them all in Italy!  They were connected!  Deeply connected, in a way that you were blessed by encountering it.  To see other genuine family connection like this - is rare.  I love meeting beautiful, precious people, whose actions speak of love!

Pic courtesy of Judy Wise - Check out -Anything for a Friend - for Lorraine

Being part of this beautiful group and gift, for this beautiful soul, was truly an honor for me.  And I can't tell you how grateful I am to be included!  For no other reason, than when I heard the news - I just wanted to do something!  Something to help, something positive, something beautiful, something for Lorraine.  The mom in me, just wanted to do something that would fix it!  If only it were that simple!

The ladies who were involved are some incredibly gifted and seasoned quilters and artists from the US...  Renee Plains, Jackie Cate, Jenny Wentworth, Misty Mawn, Stephanie Lee, Katie Kendrick and Judy Wise.  I was lucky to have Jackie help me through some quilting and stitching questions I had, Renee made a beautiful label with all our names on it and Judy collected and assembled this beautiful quilt for all of us.

Again and again, I'm blown away by the generosity, community and love!  And I'm totally blown away how this quilt worked out... too beautiful!  This has inspired me to make more squares and maybe one day I will have enough for quilts for my girls!  What a beautiful gift and message of love.

I don't think there is a single day that passes that Lorraine isn't in my heart and mind!!!!
If you are reading this - please can you support us all by keeping her in your heart and prayers too.  I'm truly trusting and believing for a miracle!

Beautiful Gifts from a far....

Can you believe a beautiful friend from a far, sent me this incredibly generous gift?

A handcrafted crochet dress from Chile.  Constanza was selling it in her Etsy shop and I mentioned how much I loved it but felt afraid to buy it because I wasn't sure of the size.

I had ordered a beautiful handcrafted pinnie from her shop in the meantime, while I contemplated the dress.  Shortly thereafter, I got a message from Constanza, to tell me that she's sent me the dress as a gift.  I'm always so blown away by the level of kindness and community that I've found in and with my online art buddies.  The sharing of knowledge, gifts, art and kindness has at times taken my breath away!  I love that we share this together.  Always playing it forward!  It's called me to exercise generosity and kindness constantly too - which is so important to me!  Rallying around each other with care, compassion and generosity!!  I see it acted out daily!  And once again, I'm blown away!!

I have to tell you - it's a perfect fit!  It is so beautifully handcrafted that I've hung it up in my room so I can see it everyday!  Little reminders of kindness acted out!

As for my gorgeous little pinnie - it finally arrived and it's stunning!!!  I have been carrying it with me everywhere - I am sentimental like that!  Today, it's #InMyStudio - where I get to glance up at it every now and again...  Inspiration for my next needlework project!  Thank you Constanza - I hope to be collecting more of these sweet pieces.

#InMyStudio - Angel of Love...

Exodus 23:20 - "See, I am sending an Angel ahead of you to guard you along the way

and to bring you to the place I have prepared."

I can't tell you how thrilled I am with my sculpture.  And that she's finally finished.  Each time I thought I was done with her, she called me back to do more, literally!  Yesterday, I just wanted to fix some cracks and before I knew it I was adding more flowrs and hair.  And I absolutely love her.  Oh yes, I also fixed all the cracks.

She's now dried and already wrapped up and heading to her new home.  She's on her way to a very dear friend of mine, with a message...  A message of love and a message of hope.  And I am hoping with everything in me, that she will love her as much as I did making her.  I will share more about this later!

I have to tell you that I absolutely loved working with paperclay!  And I definitely want to do more.  It's beautiful and to use your hands like this... is wonderful.  I really got lost in the process and I found the more I worked with it, the more I started to understand the layering.  And I hope to learn much more as I continue to discover this new medium!

#InMyStudio - "Dreaming of Orvieto"... gets a make over

Well, I thought I had reworked all the pieces I owned and that I had nothing left to "fix".

This piece has been up #InMyStudio since I got back from Italy and I guess altering it, just hadn't come up.

But this weekend - I took it down to put up my beautiful new Reindeer head that I got for Mothers Day.

So I thought... "what the hell"...  Everything I am doing at the moment, is about practice!

At first Kitty was literally having heart failure that I was going to alter this...

But she eventually came around!  As for me... I'm completely blown away!!!

To me it doesn't even look like the same painting.

I originally did this piece in OilPaints - it was before I had learnt how to use Acrylics,
so my makeover would have to be in oils too... mentally - going there can be a challenge in itself.

Don't get me wrong, I love oils!!!  It's just a gearshift sometimes.

I was seriously trying not to freak out, esp at this middle stage.

My oils are getting old and a bit stogy.  I need to update some of them.

I was working with it thickly and it was messy and I was covered in OilPaints.

But I sat for about 5 hours straight and it was truly amazing when she started to appear.

(Funny, my girls always say to me - "Mommy, don't panic - she will come to you!")

And it felt so true with this piece.

What these two pieces look like together - what a transformation.

The soft naples yellow background just works so much better - it terms of a softer dreamier feel

and probably more in line with Italy!  And I'm loving the softer lines.

Totally stoked with this new/old piece.

News flashes...

Mother's Day - it's never a big affair in our house! That being said we kind of celebrate it for the sake of the girls - it's precious to them.  I love that they want to spoil with extra loves and care - I love that it reveals more about their hearts than it does about Mother's Day.

Being a Mother has been my greatest accomplishment to date!  I love being a Meme, a Momma and a Mama from the moment they put those precious girls in my arms.  Having my girls has given me a deep sense of purpose, hope and understanding!!  They are truly part of my soul.

My beautiful Corksy had a steady flow of soya lattes coming at me through the day with my Lindt dark chocolates (that I shared ;-)) and she took us on a route in our beautiful forest too!

My baby girl bought me this Reindeer for Mother's Day - it's a real glimpse into who she is - I love that she isn't conventional - because neither am I.  She just gets me!  And that Reindeer just looks like she's always belonged with me #InMyStudio - super stoked with my awesome people!

Making time to be creative - is so important to me.

It's my aim to be creative everyday... from blogging, drawing, photography, writing, painting, stitch work, sculpturing - so that creativity is my way of life - as opposed to something I do on the sides.

And May has been beautifully creative, so far which totally = happy heart for me!!

                                                                                                                                                                                                      

Improving and growing is always my heart - so to me time #InMyStudio is key!

We are in for a busy time - we have exams coming up, a 50th birthday celebration, school camps and have a trail running long weekend away coming up later in June.

My girls and I have also registered for our local ParkRun and we will be starting that soon too. 

We are also fully into winter now... the days have been okay and pretty manageable but the mornings and evenings are rather cold in our old house!  But so far, I'm managing.

Feels like we are finally settling into this year.  It was a rough start!