Monday 15 July 2013

#InMyStudio - Uncomfortable places...

I want you to know that I used the the same reference for these pieces...  
Except they were painted almost exactly 8 months apart!
The left is an OilPainting on CanvasBoard and the right is an AcrylicPainting on Card.
It was a #selfportrait assignment that Misty gave us as homework for when we got home from Italy!


I don't know how to feel about my painting session this morning.
My 20Minute Challenge was totally uncomfortable and made me feel a little sick to my stomach.

The "new" girl really rubbed  me up the wrong way and I was a little cross with her when I went off to shower!
But as much as I was rattled, she had at the same time completely captivated me!

It was only when I got home and put these two images together that I understood what was going on inside!
I am hoping when you see these two images together you too will also understand!

I don't know what to say... except to me, it looks like they were painted by two completely different artists.

Have I changed this much in 8 months!

She isn't pretty and she's far from perfect and her face isn't symmetrical
but she's kind of beautiful in an odd alluring way!
And dare I say it, but I'm more drawn to her than my perfect painting!

I think because she's kind of rebellious in her imperfections - rebellious to what people expect me to paint!
Perhaps even rebellious to what I expect myself to paint!

There is something in me that all through my artistic journey - that over blends,
always leaning towards making it flawless and picture perfect!
Maybe it's my own need to be this... you know - the good girl.  The perfect girl!

Maybe it made me feel so uncomfortable this morning because she is actually me...
the contrasting sides of me being so exposed!  Even to myself!

Sharon Tomlinson said to me this morning, "You excel outside of your comfort zones".
I think she's right - it's in the uncomfortable places that we discover truths, truths about who we are and what we are.
I carefully say, let me be uncomfortable if it means I will continue to grow!!!

Because I'm desperate to grow, not only as a person but certainly as an artist!

20 comments:

  1. What you did is amazing! I find it fascinating how loose and intricate your art became in such short period. I see more of you in your later version and I love it! I would love to buy it if you put it on Etsy.

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    1. Are you serious Annie? I would so love that!!! It would mean so much to me!!! ❤❤❤
      I will email you just now!

      Hugs my friend!

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  2. Hi, l love what is happening , art does sometimes take us out of our comfort zone. You are being SO courages, han g in there and keep creating. Remember it is not what you are creating,but who you are becoming while creating. X XX Heather.

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    1. I love that Heather - I think you put that saying at the back of my postcard - and I love it!
      You are absolutely right!!!

      Looking so forward to spending some arty time with you soon!

      Much love
      JM

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  3. I absolutely love your post, and I love both paintings. I am IN love with the 'imperfect' painting. I was going to ask if it was available, but I see Annie has already spoken. It is my favorite. I love your 'perfect' style too but I think you did a great job of analyzing the differences. After all, everything we paint has everything to do with where we are. Outside the comfort zone is where all the juice is! I learned some time ago that there are two things that will move you, either inspiration or desperation, and it doesn't matter which one it is. I noticed you said you were desperate to grow. Looks to me like you are inspired to grow. Inspiration is what shows up in your paintings, not desperation! Your work is beautiful!
    xoxo

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    1. Dear Janice - thank you for your lovely words. I'm so blown away by them! Thank you for getting it... This year I knew my journey would be about growth and learning and practicing. You are absolutely right about inspiration and desperation - they are great motivators to move us along.

      Thank you for taking the time to read my story today!

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  4. I love the idea of letting go of the pursuit of perfection. I have such a struggle with that . . . you are an inspiration in so many ways, my friend! And I love the way you analyze your approach to your art in such a deep and meaningful way!

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    1. Thanks Betty - I wonder what it is in us that is always pursuing perfection. Thank you so much for your words - they mean the world to me! <3

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  5. I agree, I love the looser style. Keep painting this way, it will be fun to watch you grow!

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    1. Thanks so much Kathie - that really means so much!

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  6. Åååååååå! (translation - Ooooohhh!) I´ve seen this before but I wanted to tell it to you again. I so much like what you did with this one. It gives her caracter. I like the one that you did first too, but they are so different. You motivate me to pick up my brush today too.

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    1. hahaha - thanks for that translation! You are so sweet!

      I'm so glad you had such an awesome painting session - I can't wait for you to share what you did!

      Eeck!

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  7. I agree with the people above, both are lovely but the loose one is awesome. Love it.

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  8. That's right. Makes me want to go outside your comfort zone with you. Maybe today. Watch for me.

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  9. I am captivated and challenged by what you've said about yourself; about your work and what you're seeing there; by how something "real-er" comes to the fore when carefulness is abandoned for seat-of-the-pantsness.

    Ah, by so many things that you said here.
    Going back to read it again . . .

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    1. Thank you so much Allie!!! Thank you for reading that! It really means a lot to me. <3

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  10. What a wonderful post! I love what you said "Perhaps even rebellious to what I expect myself to paint" as for me it comes through is your painting, throwing caution to the wind... they are both beautiful but the rebellious one has got SO much personality!
    Thank you for sharing your journey and your growth as an artist. So very inspiring!

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    1. Thank you so much Anne!!! I have been so blown away by this exercise and the response that has come from it. Thank you for your beautiful words!

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