Saturday, 25 July 2015

Dealing with loss...

"this year is leaving an echo that is haunting.
my heart is completely captivated and completely connected"
It's what I asked for but I wasn't expecting it in this way...

The tender moments of loss this year have been large and I'm feeling every moment of them.
My heart is heavy and achy all the time.  No one prepares you for loss.  There aren't pre-loss courses you can take to help shield you from the blows, that might come.  You get thrown into the the deep end of turmoil and you are expected to survive.
It's on the job training.

I understand death - but for me the pain I feel isn't for the death itself.
It's the devastation it leaves behind. Watching people I care about, suffer so in the agony of their loss, it is that, that breaks my heart.
I find it excruciating.   And this year, we are surrounded by it.
It's leaving an echo in my soul that is haunting.

In truth, I don't know how to be or how to help or what to say.
I'm here quietly, gently and deeply holding you so close to my heart.

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