Sunday, 4 May 2014

Running again...

So a year ago I hung up my running shoes for various reasons...

One because I wasn't having fun anymore.  My hips were killing me and so were my feet - blisters and loosing toe nails became the norm.  Secondly, probably the biggest reason was that no matter how much I ran - I never shifted any extra unwanted kilo's.  I was running around 40km's per week and working hard - but it made no difference.  If anything, at times it felt like my weight was increasing but I know for sure, it wasn't decreasing.

I'm not sure when it happened exactly... when my running became about burning calories so I could indulge over the pure joy of running.  Every session was about making sure I was burning.  But I stopped loving it for a long time.  Also running when you are 30lbs heavier than you should be, isn't fun!  It's damn hard work.  No wonder my hips were killing me.  So I guess in a way - I gave up.  Hanging up my shoes after 35 years of running wasn't an easy decision.  I've been running and training from a small girl and I've had moments of being unfit but mostly I've been fit my entire life.  I've spent many hours on the road and in the gym.  But making the decision out loud was huge.  I was done - period!

Anyway... to cut a long story short my daughter has fallen in love with running and is doing beautifully.  In fact, she made me sit up straight the other day when she did a road race and was the second female home in the whole field and she's 15.  Well - pure and simply that's my old turf.  I grew up on the podium and when I realised that she's heading down this road - I know I can train her, but I will need to be fit to do that and be along side her.

Well at this stage - I'm no where along side her.  She's dropping me good and proper and I am feeling the shame of letting myself go.  My weight is now under control - but my fitness is shameful!  It reminded me that - no I don't have to train to burn calories {because I know that will never work for me again} but now I can train for pure fitness and health but maybe, just maybe... for the love of it again!  My sweet girl has been gracious with me... and right now it's about the small victories - like getting to the top of a hill without walking... it brought tears to my eyes today and let me tell you, running trail with tears in your eyes isn't easy.  Kitty has been joining us too... she's far too sedentary and seeing her this unfit too has been a shock to all of us.  She's been so brave overcoming and we are all doing it together.

Next week we do a race together.  Well Corks will race and Kitty and I will team up to finish!  Having my shoes on again for different reasons, real reasons has made my heart soar to new heights.  Long may this be a way for me to stay healthy and to connect with my girls as they become young ladies.

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